My wife and I sat down today to revisit our list of Polyamorous rules. We realized that many of our rules were outdated, and we had no insecurity issues over any longer. Initially we made our rules set around our insecurities, such as no sleeping with other partners in our bed, no cumming inside other partners or seeing other partners only twice per week. Our rule list went on for pages, almost to the point of not being able to remember so many. Initially we looked around online for guidelines, and found that it may be a good idea to make a polyamory contract. We fill out the contract and have other potential partners sign the contract, just to be sure everyone is on the same page. Our polyamory contract didn’t make it far, as we worked on it for several days then just kept it between us.
So now we are at the point where we have a massive list of rules and we needed to cut them down. We sat outside and watched the rain come down while snuggling each other close and talking about what insecurities we had with each rule. We as we slowly went through our polyamory rule list, we crossed one off then another, and another. We came down to only a few rules left:
Polyamory Rule #1) 100% Open Communication – No matter what.
If there is an insecurity, we always talk about it, even if it is a very small insecurity. Small insecurities can bubble up to be huge insecurities very quickly and without talking about these insecurities revolving around polyamory, other partners, sex with other partners or even sex with each other can lead to disaster. So 100% open communication as a polyamory rule was big for us. We highly recommend this one to you as well!
Polyamory Rule #2) 100% Complete Honesty – No matter what.
We always tell the truth and the whole truth when asked about something, or not asked about something. A little bit of sketchy behavior skirting a topic can lead from being sketchy to lying to cheating to broken irreparable relationships. Always tell the truth, always be honest, and if you mess up… own up to it! The earlier and faster you can own up to your mistake, the better the outcome will be. Don’t hide details, but on the other hand don’t splurge every bit of your sex life to your partner unless asked. Going overboard without need can be dangerous and inconsiderate.
Polyamory Rule #3) Use Protection
We always use protection when having sex outside of the primary relationship. Using protection, meaning, using condoms. Every time. STD’s are always something to think about when having sex with multiple partners as those partners have their own partners and so on. As the web of sex expands it increases the chance of an STD spreading. So – use a condom. Be safe. Get tested.
So here we are with our 3 rules, and everything else we just talk about! We don’t have set date days or set date times, we just always talk about what our insecurities are and get through them together.