It’s interesting because our very first fight was about polyamory. Just a few dates in, it was made aware that she wanted to have an open relationship while he was raised very conservative and was unable to understand the concept, let alone agree to live it. The fight ended with a lot of hurt feelings and her going home in tears. Several days later, we contacted each other again; it was already clear that what we had was too special to give up so quickly, so he gave her space to come to a conclusion and we shortly after began our monogamous relationship.
Several years passed before the topic came up again when we talked about possibly getting together with another couple just for some bedroom fun: basically swinging. We talked about it off and on for about a year before coming to the conclusion it was something we both wanted to do! We created an OkCupid profile together and began looking around for another couple. We were unable to find anyone we were both attracted to physically or who enjoyed similar interests, so we tabled the idea for a while, but left our account active. As several months passed, he checked his email once every blue moon for a message from the OkCupid account. One day, he noticed a message from a cute lady who lived close by and was also married. They were seeking to connect with another couple as well. With them being equally new to polyamory, it was the perfect opportunity to be able to learn together.
After chatting for a bit online, we met with our new couple friends and there was no denying the mutual attraction for all parties involved. By the second date we were all 4 having sex together, in the same room; it was hot, steamy and very involved. Everyone felt very close to each other – emotionally and physically. However, after the fun was over and the endorphins had subsided, he realized he had some jealousy issues creeping up. We had a long discussion about jealousy on the way home and he had decided it was manageable so continued to hook up with the lady again.
A few days later, on a double date in our apartment, it was her turn to have some fun with just gentleman half of our new friends. He was in the living room making out with the lady in the other couple, while she was in the bedroom grinding on the other fella. Everything seemed all well and good… until he started to hear her in the other room making moans of passion. At this point jealousy took over and he snapped, immediately leaving the apartment and slamming the door. The fun for the evening ended abruptly and a quick awkward goodbye to our new friends pursued. The ideal quad-type relationship ended the next day.
Jealousy took its toll on the relationship and we took our time working through our emotions. Over the course of the next year we both worked through jealousy, rules, and what we both wanted out of polyamory. We’ve dated several people, separately, each having our own sexual/emotional encounters with lovers. Now that we are both fully past the jealousy issues and are in a good place in our heads we have been enjoying polyamory for quite some time now! We have read a lot, learned a lot and have been thoroughly enjoying the non-monogamous experience for both of us!